4. She's Just Not Worth Your Pretty If She Won't Share

I'm not talking about being four years old and in kindergarten again, being told to share your crayons and cookies. I'm talking about emotional sharing, really talking to each other- connecting, empathizing, sympathizing, and understanding.
I'm gonna share something here that's going to seem crazy at first but it will make sense once you think it through: talking is the platonic version of sex. It's the same kind of deep seated, comforting connection when two people share and talk to each other. It sounds mushy and stereotypically femme, but it isn't. The best friendships- heck, romances, too- have been based on this: Bert & Ernie (they haven't officially come out of the closet yet, so we'll classify that as friendship), Ariel & Flounder, Thelma & Louise, Mowgli & Baloo, et cetera, et cetera.


The "She's Afraid To Get Hurt Again" Excuse

She's had best friends before and they've let her down: laughed at her feelings, never kept her secrets, the whole game of hurt. She should know that that was them, not you. If she really wanted to, she would open up, tell you the things that she doesn't tell anyone else, think to herself, "I can't wait to tell her this!!!" Ultimately, she's going to want you to be her confidante because that's what best friends are for!


The "She's So Hot That She's Cold" Excuse

Everything starts out great: you two are hanging out, calling each other, you're starting to get really tight and she tells you one tiny secret. Then, bam, she's distant, only hangs out when there are other friends around, barely calls you anymore. Platonic version of 'fear of intimacy?' If I may be so bold as to call BULLSHIT! Now, I can't explain her behavior but I can say that if she's activg like that then she is definitely not worth your pretty. The only hot and cold you should have to deal with in your life are your faucets.


The "She Makes It Sound Like It's Important" Excuse

This one is a little trickier. She talks to you, you two seem close. But, upon further inspection, it turns out you barely know anything about her! You think back and realize that all the things she's told you have been small aspects of her life, unimportant facts and meaningless tidbits of information. Shit! You can't believe you've been fooled! Before you start the emotional tailspin and start telling yourself you are a bad friend, STOP! You are not the villain in this excuse, she is. She is the deceptive and cunning Drama Queen, capable of making you believe what she wants you to believe. She's the type who needs followers and attention and she'll get it in a way so that, when she gets found out, she won't get hurt. When the tell tale signs of a Drama Queen show up in your 'best friend', I suggest you tell her dramatic ass that she is not worth your genuine pretty.


It's so simple! Talking and sharing is (or should be, in a way) like sex: satisfying, comforting, and freeing. And, again, like sex, if it doesn't make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside when it's over, then chances are it's bad for you.

This one is hard because it's hard to talk about feelings, even for us women. Talking about and sharing things that make us feel certain ways opens us up and makes us vunerable to whatever hurt than can be brought. We're trusting someone not to be the bearer of that hurt.
Stupid feelings. If it wasn't for you, things would be a lot simpler, I wouldn't have to be lying here writing this! But we all need an outlet, another person who is willing to help us work through all of the crap in life. And because we feel that way, it makes it harder to believe that someone doesn't identify. We are prone to think that we are suited to be everyone's best friend and that everyone would want to open up to us because we are great listeners and we are so great at comforting others. Reality check: the world ain't all that we wish it were. There are fake and shallow and just generally shitty people out there who do nothing unless it benefits them and they're not always obvious about it. So, if she's dodgy, deceptive, or distrusting then she's definitely not worth your pretty!