Let me just start off by saying I love my boyfriend, I really do. I'm grateful that he's in my life, making this part of my life better that it else would have been.
But did you ever wonder? Okay, yeah, that was vague. What I mean is, did you ever wonder about their (the collective universe of boyfriends/girlfriends/spouses/significant others) past. And not in the overtly pathetic, clingy, "Ohmygod, who was that and how do you know them? Did you date? Did you fuck?" kind of way. I'm talking more of the casual, "So who were you before you met me?"
I guess I should back up and explain- I realized, while on the phone with TK's best friend (he answered his phone, I didn't care to ask why), that I didn't know how the two of them had met. Yeah, I vaguely remember some drunken, fumbled book cover blurb when we first met, but I never really got around to knowing. And it got me thinking.
Piecing together the stories I've heard while we've been together, I've managed to kind of see bits and parts of his life (now, calm yourselves: this is gonna sound egotistical but it's really not) BM, or Before Me. But it's like doing a giant jigsaw puzzle and I only have the egde pieces figured out and I'm left with handfuls of similar colored pieces. Call me crazy and insanely curious, but I want to see the whole puzzle, finished and whole.
I'm not gonna spout pretty platitudes about how our pasts don't matter because we're together now; I'm too emotionally scarred and realistic for that. No, I actually believe the opposite, that our pasts do matter because they've lead us to each other. And, a little more cynically, we're going to be part of each other's pasts eventually and I want to at least stand out (positvely) from the rest.