The Night Of The Bitching

ARRRRRRGH!

So I've decided to be annoyed. It's late (well, technically, for me, it's actually early) and I'm tired (exhausted) and I'm kinda steamed (annoyed to the point of actual seething).

Okay, okay, I know that I'm in the middle of writing "She's Just Not Worth Your Pretty: A Girl's Guide To Best Best-Friendship" but tonight I just can't. Tonight's one of those nights where I want to just vent and rant and bitch and seethe about the stupid people that, well, are stupid! Yes, that includes the people who are reason why I started writing "She's Just Not Worth Your Pretty". It also includes (but is not limited to) guys who are just not worth it but who are so damn... I don't want to say irresistible, but, really, that's the only word for it; people who can't run their own shit but believe they can run yours; people who bitch and complain about things that don't concern them; people who believe that they are God's given gift to humanity and believe that the world does not in fact revolve around the sun but around themselves; delusional people (of grandeur or otherwise); people who... Well, fuck it, people in general.

So I claim tonight as The Night Of The Bitching. Some activities you might find and partake of in this grand affair:

• The Buffet of Bitching - you will find dishes of all kinds here like the ever popular "Damn cunt talks shit behind my back", "Fucking jerk won't give back my stuff", and "She has the balls to say/do that after what she did to me?!?"
• The Verbal Diatribe Dunk Tank - you can confront your demon (in imagination or picture form) and yell at them and tell them all you need to say and all you think they need to hear
• The Grand Tirade Parade - we all come together, agree that people fucking suck and proclaim that statement across the land

Okay, okay, I'm done with the fiction. I won't deny, though, that it felt good to write. But really, some people in this world... It just makes my head throb, like, physically throb, just thinking about how stupid/childish/moronic/idiotic/etc. some people in this world can be!

I know, it's probably not very mature and it certainly doesn't help my credibility towards "She's Just Not Worth Your Pretty" that I'm here, wasting my time, energy, and inspiration writing a bitching-rant about the people I've left out of my life. Yes, it still stands that SJNWYP is still about how to overcome these feelings of anger, loathing, near-hate. But sometimes a girl's just got to let go and have at it.

Seriously, though, how did it come to this? Things were good (fine, I'm willing to settle for 'things were okay'), and then, suddenly, things were no longer just things but situations. And, of course, as I have previously stated numerous times before, the timing for situations in my life is

S-H-I-T-T-Y.

At this point, I'm still not willing to concede my position. I know, I know, I should be better than that; after all, I am writing about how to leave those toxic friendship situations behind.

(And for those of you who read this and believe that this is about you: I'm sorry to disappoint you, but it's most likely not. Go listen to Carly Simon's "You're So Vain" and get over yourself.)

I hate to say it, though, but my life is so much better now. The only reason I hate to say it is because I hate to think that when you were in my life you were the person keeping me stuck to the rut I was in, you were the sinking ship I was refusing to jump and I don't think anyone deserves to be told that they are, or even were, a burden. I'm not gonna go right up to your face and say, "It's your fault my life sucked back then!" and walk away because, well, it's petty and it's unrealistic. Granted, I've wanted to do that on occassion but I've held back because I refuse to sink lower than your level.

I know what you're thinking. Gee, Lulu, if they were that horrible, why did you stick around? Because I loved them. Because, at one point or some points, we really were good for each other and we really had something good going. And I know I'm not alone when I say I got attached and I didn't want to let go of what I thought was something fun.

Speaking of things fun: BEWARE OF ALL THAT SEEMS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE. That includes men. Well, guys; finding a man is so rare that you might as well call them a myth. And there's a particular species of guy you've got to watch out for: Mr. Irresistible. Mr. Irresistible is everything you want him to be except for one thing: he can't be yours! Whether it's because you've got a man or because he's got a girl, he is and never will be the one buying you roses, making you homemade chicken noodle soup when you're sick, and braving his balls to meet your family. But, from the way he acts towards you, you'd think he was that guy. Well, give him a fucking Oscar because it's all an act. I hate him for being so fly, for acting so cocky but in a subtle I-don't-hate-it-he-actually-looks-kinda-cute-when-he-acts-like-that way, I hate him for making me think that he's worth all the attention I give him! Fuck! Don't get me wrong, I love my man (the guy I'm with now, the guy who I'll be with later on, whoever), but Mr. Temptation is just within my reach. Better swat him away instead of grabbing. Bah.

I'm out of steam. I'm not any less annoyed (okay, a little).

I'm going to bed.